I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize