But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
