There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we're making bets on your personal life
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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