It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
