I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
