You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
