I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Randomize
