if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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