it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't put those talents on a resume
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
