guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
