wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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