based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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