Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
