bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
