Got a toothbrush?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize