Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
