I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
