how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
