we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
