also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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