Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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