I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
