I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
