Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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