I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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