no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
