I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
