Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
