My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize