At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize