There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
