the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
