Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and you said cock pushups were impossible
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
