i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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