jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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