whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
