You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
