Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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