i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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