Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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