what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
