Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
