I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
