Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
