Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
