i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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