last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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