I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
