I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
