I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
