Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
