glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
