I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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