I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
