the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
