After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
