Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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