do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
