I am full of burrito and curiosity
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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