Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Every concussion has its silver lining
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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