so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
