margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he thought i was a dude.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
