I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
