My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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