She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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