the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We don't watch enough power rangers
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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