i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
