I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
